Throwing The Baby Out With The Dish Water

Or in my case......the newly hodgepodge of flavored coffees out with the trash!!!

I am filled with such sadness (and curled up nose) as I reluctantly sip on walmart brand instant coffee.

For you see, my dear hubby received an awesome christmas gift from my dear mother. And it was awesome because it was something I got to divulge in. She had given him a box of different flavores of the morning pick me up. I am talking about French Vanilla, Orange Spice....and the main one I wanted to try......EXOTIC RUM !!!

And it was a much welcomed gift considering we had been drinking the lazy mans coffee for about a year because I had grown tired with having VERY limited kitchen counter space* that I had said good bye to Mr. Coffee Pot, and put him on Mt. Everest. ( That pain in the caboose cabinet over the fridge)

* If you look in the above pic, you can see how small my kichen is. Ratatouille himself would even complain about the square footage.





Well, I went to Home Depot and bought shelving units to put on the side of one of the cabinets to have space for the coffee maker.....

So come that following morning,

I got out Andreas' new mug......


my favorite mug*.......


* The person on the mug does indeed bare a strong resemblance to me anytime before 10 Am

the filter , milk and sweet and low.. I go to retrieve the bag I put all the coffees in. After I opened , closed and then slammed each kitchen cabinet door for the 5th time, I came to the conclusion I might have made a boo boo. I proceeded to look EVERYWHERE for those arabica delights.

Even the litter box, cause you never know when it comes to living with a crackcat.*
* B/C crackcats usually do end up becoming catburglars



My guess is that when I put the little , pretty, SHINEY bags of coffee in the walmart bag ...( bags that I just so happen to use for picking up trash )... I thought it was wrapping paper from the presents and threw it out along with the rest of the discarded boxes etc.*
* Which will make a nice new home for my friend from aisle 5.

Like the old saying goes " Smooth move exlax. "

But who needs exlax when you have to drink instant java.

From walmart.



Happy New Year 2009 Ya'll !!!!

Problemito With Interneto

I am having some kind of problems with my blog/internet.
For some reason , Internet Explorer can not open MY blog page. ( It was able to open everyone elses that I had listed in my favorites, just not my own). I ended up having to download a different browser ( Mozilla's Firefox) to where I was then abel to get to my blog and sign in. The weird thing is my layout was changed somewhat. My profile and little extras that were on the LEFT side of my blog page were now all the way down on the bottom. And those elements remained on the bottom no matter which template I used. Anyone have any ideas on what might be going on? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Christmas Eve And Day

On the 24th, we had food a plenty, being that we only had one guest. I am an expert in procrastination pertaining to some things, one being that I always wait until the last minute to invite people over, in which by then, they usually already have other plans. HOWEVER.... It only takes two to make it a party and have good conversation.

We had the standard turkey and gravy, green bean casserole, homemade mashed potatoes etc.....

AND appetizers galore ,that snaked all the way around the counter ending with a dish of smoked oysters and octopus. ( And believe me, my lips came no where near in consuming that type of under the sea cuisine)

Here is my nice, clean little kitchen BEFORE " hurricane xmas eve dinner " hit. I am too embarrassed to show you the aftermath. For two days later I am still flicking mashed potatoes off the cabinets. Thank goodness for crazy crackcats that like to mop the floor with their tongues!

It's present time! It's present time ! Open it up and see whats inside!!!!

There' s nothing more that makes a man goodlooking than sexy socks!!!

And before the night was over, we noticed a new christmas ornament in our tree.......

On the 25th, I stayed in my pajamas and ate my weight in rotel dip and chips. There were a few naps here and there. We also got on the webcam to watch my family open their gifts. I am so glad we did this, it made it feel like they were not so far away. In the evening, hubby and I watched the "Nativity Story" while sipping coffee and smacking on danish cookies.
Life is good and we are SO blessed.
Thank you to my family for their wonderful, awesome gifts they gave, and to those of you who sent christmas cards. ( I admit I am behind on that )
And thats # 2 on the procrastination list.

Love, Huggs and Peace to you all.

Resisting The Urge To Act Like An Idiot

Today I got up early so I could be at a certain store when it opened at 8 in the morning. I was having a good time shopping for our Christmas Eve dinner and looking at all the little trinkets, listening to the overhead speakers sing out LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW ,LET IT SNOW!

Then I heard a person say something to me. I turned around to see a black women I had earlier passed in the aisle. She was 40ish, had a wool cap on, a tan looking suede cape coat was drapping her shoulders , and a shiny silver hoop shone in her pierced nose.

She says to me in a sweet passive yet aggressive way...." Gosh your SO skinny. You need to tell me what kind of diet you are on."

Now for anybody who knows me, knows I am not skinny. I'm not even chubby. I am fat.

So who was she kidding right? I knew what she was doing and implying. I chose to ignore her after giving her the once over , assuming she was a mentaly disturbed homeless person.

However..........

Our paths met again on aisle five, and she once again, with hate and smart assness in her eyes and voice asked me " How you stay so skinny? Ive never seen anyone so darn skinny! You need to write a diet book so that the whole world can know your secret."

By then I had started to shake and feel the adrenaline rush through my blood. I wanted to cry, not because what she said hurt my feelings, but because I was having to hold myself back from stooping down to her level and going all crazy white girl on her.

I wanted SO bad to tell her that my secret to staying skinny was I quite smoking the crackpipe and eating out of garbage dumpsters. And could she be so kind as to tell me where she gets her teeth cleaned and hair done. Because you girl are fine!

But I didnt .

Instead I asked her " Why was she being so mean ? That she didnt even know me. And that she was ugly because she was acting that way."

Um yeah. Go get em tiger. Roar.

So when I went up to pay for my things, I told the cashier about the lady. The clerk picked her phone up to call security to have the lady escorted out. I put my hand up and asked her not to. That I didnt want the woman kicked out, because then it might become this "whole scene" and I didnt want to interupt anyone who was enjoying their holiday shopping. ( Truth be known, I seriously thought this crazy woman may have had a box cutter with my name on it by now .)

So I gathered up my bags headed to my car in the cold rain, my heart disgruntled by everything I was feeling.

I was almost to my car when another black woman approached me. She was dressed very classy and elegantly. Her face filled with kindness. She says to me " I know your hands are full and your busy , but I just want to give this to you. God Bless"

I WISH I could say she handed me a hundred dollar bill.

But I CAN say she was a Jehovahs Witness.( You think she would have waited until I got in my car so she could tap on the door window.) haha. get it? door. knock. because they always come up to your...never mind.

The title of the pamphlet she had given me was " What Influence Does Jesus have On Your Life?"

My answer : He kept me from using silver Christmas tinsel as a strangulation device on asile five on a cold wet December day. And that is my testimony.

P.S. Look for my "GET SKINNY LIKE ME" diet book coming out this summer !!!

Just Gabbing and Blabbing

Last night we went to Target ...for what...who the heck knows. But I scored me a comfy red throw blanket, that I am sure Dora crackcat will have ripped to shreds with her wolverine baby claws by next Monday. And I also got a deep purple glass candle holder. To my high on holiday shopping heart they only had one left. I am going to try and go to the other Target down the road and see if they have more there and anything else I feel like I cant live without. You know....like topiaries shaped like rabbits and plastic buddah incense holders.

No. This is not vomit in a bowl. It is cinnamon raisin bread pudding made by me. ( Vanilla ice cream made by Haagen Dazs ) Andreas LOVES this stuff. I love it because it's easy and fast to make, and makes the house smell so yummy and wonderful. However, if I was to eat it , it would end up being the last four words in the second sentence of this paragraph. And is it just my imagination ...or does this little concoction look like an upside koala being bombarded with gigantic snowballs??

Now dat der be my dirty rice frum de oder dey. Papa Noel and dem dar gators of his be going crazy fo dis fo sho!!!

I was just looking at this "ornament", for it is so wrong in so many ways. I was cheap that year and ordered this with my Coca Cola bottle cap rewards. It was so plain, that I got the great idea to fancy it up with a green glitter glue pen. As you can tell , it looks more as if the Grinch just shot snot rockets at it.

And the title makes me think it would be something a holiday spirited drug dealer would hand out to his customers. And speaking of crackheads.... it looks like I may have let one of them cut my bangs for me that year.

This season, I'm keeping my bangs to myself, thank you very much.

That is, unless Dora gets a hold of them.

Tis The Season To Eat Like An Oink!

I cant believe next week is Christmas.

How I wish I could fly home to spend it with my family, even if for one hour.

Andreas has offered up the idea of getting me a plane ticket and sending me on my way. But I told him I would be wayyy more miserable there, knowing he was all alone here during this special time. (But then again, he would have the kitties, the bird, the fishy and a 6 pack of Heineken to keep him company)

Speaking of "company", Andreas' office party was yesterday. His fellow co workers asked that I make my dirty rice like I did last year.

So 9 AM Wednesday morning, the apartment smelled like a Lousisana Bar and grill. I was in cajun heaven. Sadly , my sweet cornbread didnt want to cook all the way through. I cant figure out what's up with that. Could it be because I used a ROUND pan, instead of the written directions informing me to use a square or rectangle one ???? Or the fact I put over a cup of sugar into the mix????

Andreas brought home, (much to my overweight delight,) 3 types of cheesecakes, homemade chocolates, carnitas*, and some pupusas**. I'm telling you now, by the end of this month, a Macys day float will have nothing on me.

This Christmas eve, we will once again invite friends over for dinner, and neighbors to stop by for a glass of wine and a sugar cookie or two. ( And YES! Zinfandel and Pillsbury DO go together!!!)***

* Carnitas ~ It is a type of braised or roasted pork in Mexican cuisine.

**Pupusas ~ Are from El Salvador. They are similar to corn tortillas, but thicker and stuffed with CHEESE ,beans or meat.

*** Especially after that third glass of wine.

So Whats Up Chicken Butt?

Gonna give this a try again .

I hope I can keep up with it.

Posting at LEAST once a month is "keeping it up " in my book.

(Just letting you know before hand , so I dont keep you in suspence everyday .)

Because you know.....my life is SO fabulous.

Excuse me while I go clean out the litter box.