I came across the following on the net and found it to be very interesting.
Why Your Not Happy
Six common barriers to personal happiness and fulfillment and how to overcome them.
Happiness can be a paradox: The more you reach for it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers. Ask yourself if you’re happy, and you cease to be so.
How could this be true? Could it be you’re looking for happiness in all the wrong places? Do you think happiness is what you get when you get what you want? How can you become happier?
Happiness Barrier No. 1: Complexity
Solution: Simplify
Modern life has elevated individual choice to the highest level, he says, but these choices come at a big price. We often conflate quality of life with standard of life, but after a point, the connection [between the two] disappears.
If you simplify your life, you create more space in your day, making it possible to reflect on your life.
Happiness Barrier No. 2: A Breakneck Pace
Solution: Take a Pause
The same culture that entangles you in a web of complexity may also have you on the constant chase. That kind of tension takes a toll on your soul and your psyche. Whether you call it meditation, silence, or prayer, taking a “pause” just a few minutes a day can help you “recharge your batteries” and make you feel happier. A good time to do this is in the morning. Without it, your life may feel out of control.
Happiness Barrier No. 3: Negativity
Solution: Let go
Prison is nothing in comparison with the inner prison of ordinary people: the prison of attachment, the prison of anger, the prison of depression, the prison of pride.
Some might view this statement as a bit of an exaggeration. But negative, compulsive thoughts do have a quality of stickiness to them.How you see things and the way you experience the world are strongly linked, making it critical to adopt a positive outlook. You interact with the world through your senses and mind .If you can find a way to stand at the doorway of your senses, you can have a say in how you experience the world.
In our culture, though, we take it as natural that people are angry, depressed, or dejected . No wonder we get depressed -- it’s a depressing world view. It says you can’t do anything about it. If you believe your abusive boss, father, or partner is the main cause of your suffering, for example, then you’ve tied your own hands and risk becoming imprisoned by toxic thoughts.
Happiness is what you get when you give up a neurotic state of mind. It’s empowering, because knowing you can change it gives you the courage to look inside, pay attention, and take responsibility for your thoughts. Rather than judging negative thoughts, ask yourself, “What can I do about this? Through research, people who kept gratitude journals felt better about their lives, exercised more, and were more optimistic.
Happiness Barrier No. 4: Despair
Solution: Stay hopeful
Did a parent attempt to protect you as a child by saying, “Don’t get your hopes up”? There’s no evidence that hope is hurtful . Instead, hope can greatly enhance happiness in people. But genuine hope isn’t a yellow smiley face or the denial of death at the bedside of a loved one in hospice. How do people maintain hope and meaning in the face of adversity?
Three components are essential for hope to thrive. They are having goals, as well as a plan and the motivation to achieve them. Those who succeed don’t internalize the blame game, either internally or externally. They ask, ‘what now?’” Setting personally meaningful goals and checking to see where your hope falters -- is it with the plan or the motivation? Allow yourself to daydream . It’s a wonderful source of hope and, therefore, happiness.
Happiness Barrier No. 5: Suppressing sadness
Solution: Feel the real
Having a positive outlook doesn’t mean you never allow yourself to feel sadness. The parents who try to protect their children from dashed hopes -- or any kind of sadness -- may actually produce the opposite effect than is intended . Some suffering, makes you a whole person and allows you to acclimate and move forward in your life. Happiness is not the absence of sadness. It is not a stiff upper lip or the pop psychology mantra, intoning “always stay upbeat” in the face of cancer. Phony happiness is not good. By suppressing sadness, you suppress other, more positive emotions, as well, so people who try to suppress emotions actually become more anxious and depressed.
By finding outlets for sadness and frustration, you gain some measure of control . Using others as a sounding board -- not as a toxic dumping ground -- can help convert generalized anxiety and depression into targeted feelings you can address with specific solutions.
Happiness Barrier No. 6: Navel-gazing
Solution: Connect with others
How important are social networks to your happiness? Happiness is influenced not just by your immediate friends and family. The happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend -- someone you’ve never even met -- can also influence your happiness. It turns out that happiness can spread through social networks, like a virus.
Unfortunately, many people spend so much time by themselves navel gazing, they don’t benefit from this positive “contagion.”
The more self-absorbed you are, the more your world closes in, and the less realistic you become, all of which produces a vicious circle. You become oblivious to the needs of others, and the world shrinks still more, making you less able to see outside yourself. If asked, ‘Why are your problems so special?” you might respond, “Because they’re mine!”
If you have such a huge ego, you’re setting yourself up as a huge target, which can easily get hit. But using a “wide-angle lens” instead helps you see connections you wouldn’t otherwise see, such as the universality of suffering. All it may take is having a loved one diagnosed with a serious disease to realize how many people are grappling with similar challenges. Feeling joined by others on this journey provides some comfort and happiness.
The straightest path to making connections like these? Compassion and caring for others.
Even primates seem to understand this . Primates that groom each other after a stressful event experience a reduction in blood pressure. The clincher? Grooming others has a greater impact than getting groomed.
Compassion engages us with others, removes isolation, builds resilience, and leads to deep fulfillment. Without compassion, happiness is simply short-lived pleasure.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.
You know what makes ME happy? This picture right here..............
Look at his smile....go ahead...look at it. Look at his eyes. He is smiling at YOU. He loves YOU. He is running to....YOU. So? Are you smiling yet??
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