May 17th

Just wanted to wish my blogging friends in Norway a Happy National Day !!!
I can still remember walking in the parade with my school in old town Stavanger, waving the Norwegian flag. Listening to all the bands, and watching everyone in their best clothes.

This is me, wayyyy long time ago. I wore this dress in the parade. And since I didn't have any dresses , I had to borrow this one from my mother. LOL!

M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me

Great. After reading all the heart warming blogs that everyone wrote about their mother, I now feel obligated to say some choice words about mine. Especially since she told my sister that she could not believe I just wrote the words "Happy Mothers Day" on a slip of paper that I added into the envelope with my family reunion money fee. ( Just so you know, the paper DID have a pretty picture of a bird sitting on a fence) And besides....I am just getting her back from not sending me a birthday card this past year...so there!!!) Any way...back to that nagging woman. Oh Yeah. She is a pretty cool lady. She had planned to give me up for adoption but I guess I was just too cute. She always put up my art work, and not just on the fridge. The woman framed it and proudly displayed it on her living room walls like it was a Matisse. I was always proud that she was my mom. And the love and adoration I have always felt for her , I now see in her grandchildrens' eyes when they look at her. Yes my Mommamoo I do love you. At my sisters wedding this past April. ( In which I DO plan on blogging about some other day)
I want to give a "shout out" to , two other mothers who have made me a very honored Aunt...... To Shannon ~ You put the "sis" in sister-inlaw. Thank you for giving me my kind hearted snugglebuggles, Isabel and Sophie. Their pure ,honest, innocence is a reflection on the way they have been raised by a mother who will not allow her daughters to "grow up" way to fast. To my little sister Vanessa ~ When I look at Jack and Audrey I can't help but to see you when you were little. You have installed the value of knowledge, manners, and the love of family in their hearts. They won the lottery when you became their mother. ( The following is a slideshow I made for my sister for her birthday, but thought I would share since it is Mothers Day.)

The Number EIGHT

I've been tagged by my cousin LAURA over @ A FORM OF THERAPY

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1) Flying to Dallas and then driving to Louisiana to see my family
2) My sisters wedding
3) My brother /sister /nieces and nephew meeting Andreas for the first time
4) Buying a second car
5) Getting Dora spayed
6) For the whole immigration process to be finished
7) Moving the hell out of California
8) The free wine and beer at my little sis's reception

8 Things I Did Yesterday :

1)Separated clothes for washing...and then didn't wash them
2)Sweated like a pig ( it was 96 degrees yesterday!!!)
3)Rearranged and folded Andreas clothes drawer
4)Watched Jon and Kate plus 8....I love that show until I can longer take all the screaming and crying and whining then I have to turn it off and give myself nap time.
5)Took off tags and stickers off new clothes
6)Listened to Andreas grip about how I wait until the last minute to do anything
7)Ate Dominos pizza ~ Don't worry I made sure it didn't have any snot or smell like butt before I consumed it.
8)Complained about my newly cut bangs...all day. The Asian community here does NOT know how to cut big,thick,wavy Texas hair. My bangs look like one of those Gosselin kids grabbed a pair of scissors and had at it. SIGHHHHHHH.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do :

1)6 backflips in a row
2)Lose weight and KEEP it OFF
3)Sew
4)Play classical guitar and piano
5)Speak Spanish fluently
6)Go lay out by my OWN private pool
7)Travel,Travel,Travel
8)Find a good hairdresser

8 Shows I Watch On TV :

1)Jeopardy
2)What NOT to wear
3)Clean Sweep/Design on a dime
4)Jon&Kate /Table for 12
5)History Channel
6)Animal Planet
7)Biggest Loser
8)That 70s show

I am suppose to tag 8 people.....but instead I will tag you all.

Freakin Out @ Freakin Walmart

Whoaaaaa Nelly!
Today has been one of THOSE days.
You know the kind I am talking about.
That if its not one thing its another.

For starters, it is time to renew our tags on the car, which is around $70.00 It is also time for our smog check ( which occurs every two years.) So we go to our take your money and laugh at you friendly local smog station to have the car put to the test. It passed all the "smoggy" tests but we failed because our "check engine" light was on. And we STILL had to pay $40.00 for a failing grade.
While we have had no major problems with the car and she runs fine, we were told to get a new catalytic converter. We did this just last week for 200 buckaroos. OBVIOUSLY that is not what is "wrong" with the car. So after the smog check, we went and had a diagnostic done at a milk you dry because we know you don't know squat about cars auto shop.
Greaseball Mechanic Greg, hooks the machine up to the car, and in small talk we tell him we just had the converter put on. He asked us how much we payed for it, then proceeded to look at it and then tell us we had a crappy one installed ..blah...blah... blah...and he can put on the "right" one for a mere $250 .
Ding! Ding! Diagnostic done......he said some code number and that it could be that the oxygen cylinder was running slow, which would be "ONLY" 150 dollars to replace although he thinks its the CC.
HUH.
AND.
WTF???!!!!
I thought the reason we had you run this test was so that you could tell us EXACTLY what the bejesus is wrong with our 12 year old pile of fiberglass.....( who by the way has been an excellent reliable car to us... I mean, for the most part)
So we shell out 4 tens and 1 five for a diagnostic of "not exactly sure "to the "professional" grease monkey.
I HATE living in a place where I don't have my dad, or my mechanic uncles , or the good ole boy up the road to do HONEST work on my car. And Andreas...bless his heart doesn't know too much about cars....(but give him a computer that needs " a fixin" ;o)
Sighhhhh.....Just when we finally get a decent amount back from Uncle Sam it goes straight to Cooters out stretched oil smeared hand.

Now on to the the title story........

Walmart. I am really starting to hate you. Yes. I was brought up on you. Yes. I even cashiered in your garden department at one time. But your not like you use to be. ESPECIALLY the ones here in California. Right now my local WM is rearranging the whole store and the layout sucks and makes no sense. I use to be able to make my grocery list in perfect order because I knew the layout of the store down to a T. Now they have the pet stuff over by the butter and yogurts.....Towels with the kitchen appliances. And they are always out of everything I need.
HELLO!!!!
I am a fat girl from Texas.
What could size zeros from SE Asia possibly need what I need to where they never have it in stock???!!!!!! ALTHOUGH...I did see a young Asian couple with a 6 pack of BIG RED in their buggy!!!! Oh yes I did!!!! I almost grabbed it out of their cart and put it in mine.
The freak out.
That came when the cashier was ALMOST through with ringing up my items and I opened up my purse.....
and
no
wallet.
I tell her to stop ringing my items because IdonthavemywalletandIcantpayforanythingandIKNOWIhadmywalletandIthinksomeonestoleitbecausetherewerethesetwoguysthatseemedtofollowmewherethebeautyproductsareandthenonewasgoneandoneaskedmewhichlotionIthoughhtwouldbegoodforhimandOMGmyhusbandisgoingtokillmecanIuseyourphone.

It was the longest run on sentence I have ever spoken in one frantic quivering breathe. I wanted to puke , I wanted to bawl my eyes out, I wanted to take my machine gun and tell everyone to say hello to my little friend.

The lady who had been scanning my groceries happened to be a supervisor, so she put all my stuff back in the buggy, gave me my reusable cloth walmart bags back (yes back to the woman who didn't pass her smog check..whatever)
So she takes me to the phone so that I can call Andreas to see if I left the wallet at home....I am SO bad about not carrying my cell phone. He cant find it. I feel angina setting in. The supervisor tells me she is going to go check the cameras and I tell her I will go see if I left it in my car.
The car that has the bag.
The bag that I used to exchange some pajama bottoms earlier at a different store.
The store that I was in such a rush to get out of I just tossed my wallet in the bag instead of putting it in my purse.

I have never been so happy to get back into line and wait for another 45 minutes to have my groceries rerung again.

Sorry cholo guy #1 and cholo guy #2 for thinking you robbed me. I hope the Jergens lotion works out for you!!!

P.S. I have nothing against small SE Asians ( Especially the ones that drink Big Red! )
OR.... men that wear chinos and wife beaters and like to have smooth skin. I love everybody....except smog testers and mechanics named Greg.

What's New PussyCat ?

On April 6Th was Olive Cats birthday.

It wasn't REALLY her birthday, because I have no idea when or where she was born.

But it was the first day she became part of our family.

Olive is my "angel" in disguise.

My husband and I our dog people. We had been wanting to get a dog since we moved here into these apartments. I even wrote our landlord offering 500 dollars for a pet deposit, and explained how I didn't work so I would be home at all times with the dog. I also added that he was welcomed to come check our place anytime to see that the apartment was clean and not being ruined. He gave me a call and explained that while he knew I would be a great pet owner and all, if he allowed ME to have a dog, then ALL the other tenants would think they could have one also .

WELLLLL one of our neighbors ended up sneaking a pooch in their apartment.

I am not a jealous person by no means. And while many women my age have "baby fever".....I was yearning for a doggie with such passion that I would get so upset every time I heard that little pup whimper or bark in its little baby puppy voice. I even came so close to writing an "anonymous" letter informing my landlord . But I could not for I would never want someone to do that to me. ( In the end they got rid of the dog because he wouldn't "shut up and kept getting on her new couch.") :(

As for Olive.....we kept hearing a cat meowing outside one day. The girl upstairs felt sorry for her so she would open a can of cat food for her. One day I went to our apartment laundry room and the cat followed me. She didn't have a collar and she wouldn't let me pet her. I thought she might be pregnant at first because her sides stuck out. I finally sat on the stoop and she slowly came to me and allowed me to pet her. When I went back to my place, she followed me and sat there in front of my door. I opened a can of tuna, and got a bowl of water and "invited" her into my home by leaving the front door open. She cautiously came in, and ate the food in one gulp and then came and settled by my feet and snoozed all day. When Andreas came home we let her back outside. This went on about 2 or 3 days, and every night she would curl up in front of our door mat waiting to be invited in again the next day.

My heart could no longer take it. I went and bought a litter box and all other cat necessities.

The first night she spent inside the house, I slept in the living room with her. She slept right by the couch, and every once in a while she would look at me with her eyes to tell me thank you. For about a month all she did was sleep, as if she had been on a long journey.

I would love to know Olives story before she came to us.

I think she may have been someones pet at one time, for obviously she wasn't feral, and didn't have ANY fleas or ticks on her. She did have a patch of hair missing from her shoulder blades in which a friend pointed out that could be because someone could have put some flea control capsule on her. I went all around our neighbor hood/ pet stores/craiglist/etc looking to see if someone may have been looking for her. She has never went into heat so I think she may already be fixed and she now has that long hanging belly that indoor cats sometimes gets.

Some facts about our Olive.....

1. She is a VERY timid cat yet friendly , and she LOVES Andreas.

2. She loves to be petted when she wants you to pet her, but she will bite when she is tired of you and if you touch her belly.

3. She pukes up the most disgusting hair balls.

4. She does not jump on to any thing except the couch and bed , but that is ONLY after you invite her to do so. (unlike someone else I know)

5. Every once in a while she will put her claws in the carpet for a second, other than that she doesn't scratch on anything....( unlike someone else I know) .

6. She has the saddest meow you have ever heard. It sounds like a broken hearted chain smoking lounge singer.

7. She likes to play as long as she can just lay there and play.

8. She only drinks the juice from canned pet foods/ tuna fish.

9. She loves to be rubbed with her feather toy.

10. Dora makes her nervous as hell.

11. When I ask her " do you want to look outside?" She strolls over to the front door waiting to look out the screen door.

12.) She is not a purrer but a major kneader.

13.) She has her own song made up by me..........

( Sung to the tune of School House Rocks "LOLLY ADVERBS" give or take some :P)

Olive Olive Olive get your Olive here

Shes a really cutie let me make that clear

She loves to MEOWWWWW

And throw up hair balls

And run down the halls

And scratch us with her claws

The curiousest of all

Happy Birthday To Our Little Miss Olive Sunshine Cruz !!!!!!

Through The Years

Today my Dad turned 57 years old. ( According to his grandson Jack he is older than dirt.)
And in honor of his birthday I decided to look back on the many faces and styles he has bestowed upon his family and the world.

1.) Annoying, silly little brother......

2.) Horny, beer drinking young man. ( Okay...I give you points on this photo because the young ladies boobs your staring at , you ended up making her your wife. But then again, I have to turn around and take those same points away because your drinking a Schlitz.)
3.) Showing us what you wear under your favorite polyester plaid pants. 4.) Total fashion confusion sets in. Your not sure if you want to look like Elvis, Neil Diamond or one of the Monkeys. ( And Boy! Mom sure was a hottie back then!)
5.) Here is your Pierce Bronson look.
6.) In the summer you proudly displayed your 1970s porno mustache and sleeveless t shirts, ( much to moms weak kneed delight!)And in the winter you gave us the lumber jack/ Paul Bunyan image.

7.) In the next pic , you look like you want to either kill a president or a Beatle. But never the less, everyone was sure to know where you were from and which cheerleaders football team you liked to watch.
8.) A La Panama Jack......( Of course this time you decided to be a gentleman and not look down at moms boobs)

9.) You are still that annoying, silly, little boy but in a mullet wig.
10.) But the best fashion style you have ever worn is the one I love the most. And that is , just plain and simply being my dad!!! Happy Birthday you old fart!!! I LOVE you!!!

Time Is Flying By

I can not believe how fast this week has gone by !!!

Just last Saturday I sent Andreas off to a birthday party for one of his friends from work.
Why didn't I go ???

First of all.....it was in Compton.
Yes.
THAT Compton.

Second, the last time I went there for a birthday party Andreas, lied out his butt PROMISED that everyone there was going to speak English.
Yeah Right.
The only time they spoke English was to tell me that I really needed to learn Spanish.

And then the Mariachi band came out. And those trumpets were LOUD. So loud that you could barely hear the helicopter that was over head beaming its searchlight all over the place

But the worst part was when Andreas went to the bathroom , leaving me all alone with my white girl self.

That is when the lead singer; Mr."I am so sexy in my concho pants" , locks eyes on me. I try to hide behind all the empty Corona and Tecate bottles on the table. But he points to me and asks me a question in Spanish. I just shake my head violently no, because I figured that was a universal sign for the word...NO! Now leave me ALONE !!!!

A lady who took pity on me and my total gringaness, decides to translate in English , that he wants ME to give him a request for a song. I politely told the sombrero wielding gentleman ( after I damned Andreas under my breathe for the cuatro time).. that there were only TWO "Spanish" songs I knew :

1.) "LaBamba" ( which was met by passive aggressive giggling)....and

2.)"La Cucaracha" ( which was met by shouts of glee from the young children and Uncle Ernesto who worked for Orkin pest control ).
So the band struck up the tune and everyone was clapping and stomping their feet. I must admit, I never new the word "marihuana" was ever in that song. Hmmmmm.

And to top it all off. Andreas missed the whole thing. Lucky freakin him.

I have two shouts out today...........

First I want to tell my brother and my sis- in law, HAPPY 14Th ANNIVERSARY !!!!!! ( March 26)

I also want to thank them for bumping uglies and giving me my two smart, sweet, beautiful and talented nieces.

I have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY wish for my dear red headed cousin Beverly in Texas ! ( March 27 )
I hope there will be new pics of us together this summer !!!


And on a totally different note, I came across this picture while on the internet that I felt I needed to share........( Yes, because I am weird like that) I am not sure what disturbs me more.....WHAT he is wearing and HOW he is wearing it....or the fact that it is orange and green with horizontal stripes. But he does sing a favorite song of mine, so I guess I can forgive the Freddy Krugerish under roos....... ( but than again, who are we kidding?)